Rest...

I hope this blog finds you well. As you see rest is my topic.  I don't claim to be an expert on the subject in fact rest is a difficult word in my vocabulary so I've been collecting some tidbits that I hope will give us some insight on our journey to rest.

One of my favorite Bible passages is Psalms 23. I like the whole passage but I am primarily focusing on the first 2 verses.  The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.  He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leads me beside still waters.  I woke up thinking about why does the Shepherd make the sheep lie down?...so I went exploring and found that I like what Benson wrote in his commentary that the shepherd makes me to lie down - "not only to feed, but to rest and enjoy tranquility, peace, and safety; in green pastures - where there are both delight and plenty. The loveliest image afforded by the natural world is here represented to the imagination; that a flock feeding in verdant (rich in vegetation) meadows, and reposing (situated or kept in a particular place) in quietness by the rivers of water running gently through them It is select to convey an ideal of the provision made for the souls as well as bodies."  I Love that as Christ my Shepherd that I can trust Him to look out for me/us holistically as He provides food, water, and rest. So I would think you could agree that rest appears to be important. 

I am not sure about you but it is hard for me to rest.  For 11 years I worked full time, engaged with family, and worked on degrees so there wasn't much time to relax as there were family functions, research papers to write and more research papers to write, a demanding yet rewarding job, school activities for the girls, and church activities we participated in. Since 2010 I've been busy establishing a new career so needless to say rest hasn't been a high priority...until now. Yes,  I am learning as much as I want to help others my body is making me as my Goddaughter says, "take a rest." I have observed MarkyBoy, our furry son, as you can see in the photos has no problem taking a rest.  How are you when it comes to resting do you always feel you've got more to do than hours in the day?  You might consider assessing if you are getting the kind of rest the Shepherd is leading you to receive.  Are you resting in Him?  

Although radiation is completed I am still in recovery which is my motivation to physically rest. It's been a slow process....the body seems to working extra hard to heal and as we know healing takes time.  I am back to work 3 days a week with a day off to recover in between office days.  It is good to be, back in the office, seeing Clients as life is starting to feel more normal.    

Since I am all about makin memories I want to share some that I made over the past weeks.   
My sister and I celebrated a pretty big birthday this year and our family celebrated with us while we were at the beach.  It was only fitting that Mother join us for our picture.  Yes, Phyllis and I share the same birth date.  As a 9 year-old girl I prayed for a girl and for her to be born on my birthday.  In order for that to happen Mother had to be 2 weeks late and of course Mother was not agreeable to the plan, nonetheless, I was excited when my baby sister (Mother wanted a boy) arrived on my birthday and weighed in at 9lbs 14ozs and 23 inches long. For a long time I have thought she was ready to come earlier however, God chose to answer my request and He sure could not have done any better when He gave me Phyllis. Phyllis has always been a huge supporter of my endeavors.  When I needed help with childcare...she was there, needed boring (to her) research papers proofed...she was there, when I graduated...you got it she drove to Tampa...she was there.  I think you get the picture so it stands to reason she (and Mark) has been a huge support to me and my family while struggling through radiation and back to health. Saying thank you to Phyllis seems less than adequate so I hope she realizes she is truly a Blessing! 

It has been a family tradition for about 15 years....my parents invite us kids and our families to go with them to the beach and... the rooms are on them.  Love it!   So we make our annual pilgrimage to New Smyrna. This year I was able to capture some sweet photos of these two sweet Love Birds!  I love how they still love and are devoted to each other even after over 60 years.  They're a good example of what love and commitment is all about. From my observation 1 of their key ingredients for success, in spite of what they're physically going through, is they laugh a lot and sometimes at each other.  My Mother frequently says, "We are blessed" and I agree we are blessed beyond measure. I am thankful for them and their example. 


Last but not grandboy turned 1 Year Old!  It is hard to believe a year has already gone by.  He is my (Mimi's) sugar lump.  I love...love...love baby sugar. If you don't know what baby sugar is, it is...kissin babies on the cheek.  His cheeks are a little fluffy and he leans in to me as if he likes it as much as I love kissin him so it's a win-win for both of us.  Mason says Mama, Dada (when he's upset with his Mom), he's starting to walk. He makes eye contact when you call his name and he is a joy.  



I feel exceptionally blessed having you, my reader, as family or friend. I hope you are finding a balance between makin new memories and listening to the voice of the Shepherd who invites us or instructs us to rest. I think Bishop Gerald Doggett sums it nicely up for us, "It's important to learn the significance of resting in the LORD. It's that confident resting that can renew one's strength, and refresh the soul.  Such safety and security cannot be found except in HIM. Enjoy a blessed and secure day of resting in the LORD."  I am thinking that maybe we can learn to do both simultaneously make new memories and rest.  Love you-Big! 

Encouraging Scriptural Words: 
I will lie down and sleep in peace for you alone, O Lord will make me dwell in safety.    Psalms 4:8

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.  Psalms 34:19

But He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.                       2 Corinthians 12:9 

But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength.  They will fly high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31

A merry heart does good like a medicine; but a broken spirit dries the bones. Proverbs 17:22

God is...

You're welcome to insert your favorite descriptive word...God is _______.  I find I have a lot of favorite descriptive words for God.  Some of my favs are knowing God is: in control, Big, my provider, my healer, creator, peace, provider of my salvation by sending his Son Jesus however, my most favorite because I think it sums it all up is that God is faithful. I find great comfort in knowing whatever is going on in my world that I can trust God because I know that God is going to be faithful. Does this mean I always get what I want or even what I pray for... absolutely not. What it does mean for me is that God in his infinite wisdom sees my beginning, my past, my now, my future and His Word says that He has good plans for me. 

I know it's been a few weeks since I've written about my journey.  I can assure you I've been

makin all kinds of memories. A Friend texted me a little video not knowing how much of an encouragement it would be as I was scheduled to start my last 2 intense radiation treatments that upcoming week. You see I've walked through trying times before. Years back on a get-away with my Honey husband at the beach, pictured to the right.  I spent some time alone reflecting with God about our life. Many of you know that the children I hold dear to me I did not birth so I learned I could trust God with the Loves who are placed in my life to influence them for Him.  In my alone time with God, positioned with the beach in front of me, as far as I could see there appeared to be no end. I looked to the left and the right and in either direction the vastness of the ocean appeared to have no end.  I have read scripture that states God holds the water in the palm of his hand so in that moment in time I realized that I serve a Big God and processed... if he could hold the water in the palm of His hand and manage it than there was no issue too big for Him to handle in my life including the issue I was facing then, as well as, the current issue of pain associated with radiation. I walked into treatment knowing God was still in control. I knew He could and He did help manage pain which was a great relief.  I am thankful God is faithful. 

If you have been reading my blog then you know I have been focused on ringing the bell!  It was quite a celebration the Radiation Therapist and Staff were making noise with hand clappers, pom-poms, and lots of hugging going on. It was a surreal moment. My sister and a childhood friend were present to help me celebrate. I have no words for the feelings of having the treatments behind me. My eyes were leaking...

It has been 3 weeks since treatment has ended and fatigue has been a constant companion however, in the past few days seems to be gradually leaving.  I am so very thankful for manageable pain. I have not been driving or working for 6 weeks however, I am able to be more mobile and started driving yesterday.  If all goes well I'll make my way back to the office soon.  

Steve, my husband, has been a huge support on this journey. He's had to take up the slack around our home for many weeks and I am blessed to have him to do this journey with. I can't begin to tell you the expression of support we have had and for which we are so very thankful. Steve and I both have been blessed by all the outpouring of food it was all very tasty,  it kept him from having to cook after work, and saved us money which really helped since I haven't been working. I've been tremendously blessed by the prayers, by every encouraging word by text, Facebook, card, phone calls, Ladies meeting and waiting in the treatment center for me, Ladies driving me to appointments including the ER, those sharing radiation experiences, Ladies coming to hangout to keep me company and cater to my needs, Special Lady bringing Banana Dream celebration cake, Therapists who are caring for my Clients, and on a lighter note a co-worker trying to figure out how to get mentioned in my blog. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you to each of you!  I have a new appreciation for encouraging someone going through a hard journey. 

In the midst of this journey I've made some wonderful memories over the past few weeks.  Sharing Father's Day with my Dad, Husband, and family. The pic is with my parents and siblings. 

Family pic on Mother's Day with Cutie Boy.

I was able to see Heidi, my longest childhood friend. She was 4 and I was 5 when we met, and nope not sharing how long that has been....and yes, I have secrets (when she was 6 she pottied outside) but please mention it to her as she said she wouldn't be my friend if I told anyone. Good memories....

Thank you Dear Reader for taking your time to read about the memories I am makin.  What kind of memories are you makin?  What lessons are you learning on your journey?  I hope on your journey that you too experience that God is faithful. 

Encouraging Words
11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29: 11-13 

Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me....forget not all  His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases. Psalm 103: 1-3

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, says the Lord. Jeremiah 30:17

God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.              1 Corinthians 1:9

Let of hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.                  Hebrews 10:23

Pain

Pain is hard!  So far I've not been able to make pain fun or positive or even pleasant. A friend recently stated that I am an optimistic person of which I agree however, when it comes to pain there are moments it seems and feels dark and negative.  

Pain can come in a lot of forms.  For me over the years emotional pain was quite a contender. If you've read other blogs I think I've written about the pain of a failed marriage, the disappointment of not having a biological child. Please know I totally love my kids God has placed in my life and would not trade them. Pain of not getting a promotion, or passing an important exam, and you can insert your emotional pain in here_____.  There is also physical pain. 

Some of the things I've learned from physical pain, like emotional pain, can be immobilizing, unpredictable, and is an intruder. I have also learned that just because I have pain now doesn't mean I'll have the same pain later which serves as good coping strategy that remind me that some moments I am able to manage pain therefore, I do not lose hope.   

I have thought about the suffering Jesus did for me/us and appreciate that He knows all about pain.  This is a Bible scripture I find comforting in Isaiah 53:5 (ERV) But he was punished for what we did. He was crushed because of our guilt/iniquities. He took the punishment we deserved, and this brought us peace.  We were healed because of his pain. Another coping strategy is I trust Him with my pain. 

I still have my eyes on the goal of ringing the bell although, treatment has been extended until June 17th due to complications.  I have 2 external treatments this coming week and 2 internal treatments the following week so it elevates my mood to know that bell ringing appears to be insight. 

During painful times life goes on so I am glad we were able to Skype with Morgan and Evan, who live in Oregon, to watch our first grand boy open his birthday gifts as he turned 5. On Saturday we celebrated Alicia and Terry's Birthday, yes they are married, and their birthdays are on the same date, 1 year apart. We met for breakfast and everyone seemed to have a good time makin good memories...together!  

During this cancer freeing adventure I've had wonderful support of my family and friends of which I am very thankful. My family has been super supportive.  I am thankful for the support of those that I am currently employed/work with, those I grew up with, those I worked with at the City, my church family, my grief group, and various others. Thankful for all those taking me to treatment, to the ER, staying with me during the day, picking up medication, encouraging Facebook encouraging, texts, phone calls, meals, foot rubs, cards, frosted lemonades, books, love shown, support, and last but certainly not least are the prayers you've prayed. Thank you doesn't seem adequate. I don't seem to have the words to convey my thankfulness and gratitude.  I have felt so blessed and loved.

How about you what are you going through that is causing emotional or physical pain? What coping strategies are you utilizing?  How is God working in your life? I pray for you that you are pain free or Jesus minsters to you and meets all of your needs...even the painful ones. 

Encouraging scriptural words: 
We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed - always carrying about in our body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus be made manifest. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. Psalms 40:1

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:  Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3: 21-24

I can do All things through Christ who give me (great) strength. Philippians 4:13

Eyes on the Goal!

With 11 radiation treatments done and 14 to go I decided focus is my word for the week.  Today I met with the Radiologist Oncologist and discussed some of the signs and symptoms I am experiencing and he confirmed for the most part are typical radiation side effects.  So it seems fitting that I need to stay focused and keep my eyes on the goal.

As a therapist I work with children and teens who lack focus so I am consistently motivating them to learn the powerful tool of self-control in order for them to learn to maintain focus.  I find many people, including adults, don't realize they have the power to take charge of their thoughts so I offer coping strategies to aid them in taking charge and redirecting their thoughts. I now realize I need to implement some of these coping strategies to keep my eyes on the goal which is the bell in the photo. Most of us know someone who has gone through treatment for cancer and at the end of the treatment you ring the bell. So my goal in 14 days is to ring the bell.  I am almost half way there!  Every day the race seems to get a little harder all the more reason to maintain focus.  What goal are you striving for?  

When I write my blog it in itself is a journey depending on what is going on as I am working, going to radiation and life events are still happening.  Life doesn't stand still. I enjoy living life and making new memories so within the past 4 weeks I've attended to 2 birthday parties, 1 graduation party, celebrated Mother's Day plus my daughter hosted a party in my home.  Love it!  You can see the Loves in the pics I got to spend time #makinwonderfulmemories with on Mother's Day.  My church, Christ Church of Orlando, takes Mother's Day photos and you can see the pics we took with my Mother.  It was hard to get all the family, living here, in one service.Our church was gracious to let us take 2 as the pics are and will become even more priceless treasures.  

So what happens when you goal is moved?  When I started writing this I thought I was focused, had my game plan, and my goal in sight however, after meeting with the doctor, the radiation team informed me that some changes were made and added 4 additional treatments. This news called for redirecting my focus. I must say it has been a struggle because the more treatments the more the side effects become more apparent. Fatigue is trying to become a constant companion however, I am reminded of my paraphrased scripture written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror - I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me great strength Philippians 4:13.  I've pondered this scripture over the years and I've determined that Jesus has an ample supply of strength and it can be given in the direct proportion to what is needed. Some days I/you may need a dash of strength to make it through the day, the meeting, the test. Some moments/days we may need a whole freighter ship full of strength due to a shift in a goal, termination of employment, an alarming biopsy report, your child or your aging parent is ill, you can insert your goal shift here ________. It is in these moments I am thankful in Jesus still has an ample supply of strength and we can trust him to supply. How can we trust Him to supply? His Word says He will do so and He is truth. In James 14:6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the Truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." 

Thank you for continuing this journey with me. The goal in sight now is June 9th as the completion date.  I still look forward to ringing the bell!  This past week was my first experience witnessing someone ringing the bell. The Radiation Tech said to him, "Don't come back! I don't want to see you here.  It is ok to see you at Walmart." Keep your eyes fixed on the goal...focus!  I'll look for you at Walmart!


Encouraging Scriptural Words:
I press on toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:14   

But my God shall supply all your need according to your riches in glory through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed (anxious), for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous (strong) right hand.            Isaiah 41:10

Adventure

After reading my blog on waiting, my dear friend, Christine texted me the Bible scripture found in Psalms 27:14 Wait on the Lord be of good courage, and He shall  strengthen your heart; wait I say on The Lord. It was timely as I was still waiting to hear when treatment would start.  On Tuesday, last week, I knew my word for the week would be adventure.  You see Christine and I worked together for the City of Orlando for a long time and have been on many adventures together.  I love a good adventure so we'd make whatever outing we were doing during lunch time an adventure. It just might be going to a parking garage and riding the clear box elevator to the top floor or walking up and down the 8 flights of stairs in the old City Hall.  We made life an adventure.  

I started Radiation Therapy treatments on Wednesday last week...a new adventure! This adventure reminded me of Mr. Toads Wild Ride as things fell into place. My sister Phyllis and I arrived promptly and I was escorted back to the Radiation Room which as you can see from the pic is kind of daunting, however, the ladies were nice enough and gave appropriate direction. The actual radiation is maybe a little over 5 minutes it's the set up and the radiation scans that take more time so I'm there about 20 minutes. On Wednesday 3 Radiation Therapists busily worked all around me each one giving directions or offering information.  They checked my markings and gave me permanent dots/tats on each hip and yes, I asked for hearts or happy faces but was informed it is not an option.  

I must say on paper so far all this looks pretty matter of fact but in reality I've struggle with many aspects on this adventure.  The radiation machine, Phyllis named Beamer, during the scanning phase makes a humming sound and during the radiation phase to me sounds like an alarm.  Alarms are triggers for me as when I worked for a small hospital back in the day (ok you know you're arriving at an elevated aging process if you are legitimately use this term) I called code blues. Since I knew someone's life was on the line and it was my job you were instructed to drop whatever you're doing, get to the intercom, which resounded throughout hospital to call the code. I've had that code response feeling standing in the McDonald's line hearing their french fry alarm sound off indicating the fries are ready.  So needless to say I was not expecting a mind body war during radiation.  As I lay on the narrow flat bed, it's the one in the pic, I was instructed to lay perfectly still. As the huge machine circles my body making its sound my mind knew it was not a code but my body felt I needed to do something. As my friend Marsha would say..."the struggle is real" in this case was real. 

So by now I've had to use all the Divine Intervention possible, as well as, all the coping strategies I share with people, plus some. After all a good therapist is congruent. We strive to practice what we preach.  I am thankful to report that God is faithful and I am coping better.  I've had wonderful support throughout this process.  Amazing family and friends who show love, care, and concern. I might add if you're reading this I consider you in this group as each prayer, word of encouragement, and act of kindness is endearing to me as I feel very loved and blessed.  It also reminds me how much God love me. The way I see it if you're praying for me... God placed that thought in you to pray... so He is thinking of me... when you pray...both you and God are thinking of me... together!  A sweet WOG (Woman of God), I've known since we were teenagers, came to me at church on Sunday and said that she could see God's love on me and He told her to tell me that His love surrounds me. Her words were priceless.  She also shared that she couldn't understand why God told her to tell me as she shared her conversation with God "I'm sure she already knows this." As she spoke the words I was reminded of the scripture song we used to sing "His banner over me is love." I thanked her for her obedience to God as they were words I needed to hear. Yes, God covers me even when radiation beams are targeting my body and He is big enough to and does cover the fear and anxious thoughts that have surfaced on this adventure.

So what is your adventure this week? What are your struggles? Does it involve fear or anxious thinking? One of my concerns on this adventure is there are people who walk through hard adventures without support. My prayer is whatever your struggle or fear is to know that you're not alone. When I pray for you I feel God has placed you in my thoughts to pray for you and when I pray God and I are both thinking of you.  Somehow it's comforting to me that God partners with us to connect with others.  I love that about God that he chooses to have relationship with us, surrounds us with His love, and connects us together. A little heaven on earth even....in hard adventures. 

Encouraging Scriptural Words
Be anxious for Nothing, but in everything by prayer ans supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the PEACE of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts, and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4: 6-7

Casting ALL your care (anxieties) on Him, for he cares for you. I Peter 5:7 NKJV

Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the lord delivereth him (her) out of them ALL. Psalm 34:19

I can do ALL things through Christ who give me (great) strength.  Philippians 4:13

Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper in ALL things and be in health, even as your soul prospers. III John 1:2
    

Waiting...

Waiting is my chosen word for the week.  I shared with a colleague/therapist my topic for the week and her scowled look with a guttural augh was priceless.   Waiting doesn’t seem to be a positive word however, I have learned while waiting there are many positives that are developed from the act of waiting.  So my question for you is what are you waiting for?  How patient are you in waiting?
  
Many of us have had to wait for a plethora of things in life such as that first kiss, a graduation date, the passing of a life changing exam, a wedding date, the birth of a baby, a promotion, surgery, a treatment date, and the list goes on. 

This week I’ve been waiting for insurance approval and a treatment team meeting.  The insurance approval came through on Friday so now I’m continuing to wait to hear from the treatment team in order to start radiation treatments.  I’m also waiting for my sweet Mother to recover from pneumonia and a staph infection. She’s going on her 3^rd week of in home IV’s and we’re still waiting for her recovery.

Waiting lessons I’ve learned: Resist the urge to run or fight. Actually, I consider freeze to be a more waiting mode. Romans 8:25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.  Waiting seems hard enough to do within itself but James 1:4 tells us to “Let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”  I’ve learned my attitude while I’m waiting may have some baring to how long I wait.  Ultimately God’s time table and mine seem miles apart.  After all, we live in an instant society in which we have to have what we want now however, God’s timing is not hinged on our societal norms.  I’ve learned God’s timing is perfect.  From my perspective God sees the big picture, He as a bird’s eye view on the situation, and He knows the moment this change needs to occur.  I have learned God, the creator of the universe, and my being designer designed me and you for relationship with Him which makes waiting easier.  I Love that about Him!  He invites me/you to spend time with Him and he delights in our time together.  I like that I/we have an open invitation I don’t have to have a set appointment nor do I have to have my people get with His people to set an appointment…which is a good thing since I don’t have any people.   I had an 11 year-old Client who made that clear to me when we were determining our next appointment. I lightheartedly said to her I’ll have my people get with your people.  My Client promptly responded, “The last time we tried this my people told me you don’t have any people.” She caused me to laugh and she was right as it was her Mother and I together set her appointments.  So I’ve learned to be thankful that I am welcomed to come into God’s presence with an open invitation and, in this case, He doesn’t make me or you wait.  I’ve learned I can and choose to trust Him in the waiting.  What are you choosing to do while you’re waiting?  Are you running, fighting, throwing a tantrum or patiently waiting and trusting God with an appropriate attitude?  I am praying for you in your waiting…

Encouraging Scriptural words:

25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. 26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:25-28 NIV

7A Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him Psalm 37:7A NIV 

31 But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40.31 NIV

Grateful!

Grateful is my word for the week.  On Tuesday I received a call from the Oncologist office and the kind lady proceeded to inform me that the doctor had read my CT scan and it was good.  I think she may have even used the word perfect.  So now my thoughts are spinning…what does this mean?  I responded, “He referred me to a Radiologist Oncologist so does this mean I don’t need treatment?”  Long story short she informed me that although the CT scan was good the treatment is based on the pathology report. 

On Wednesday I went for the simulation which includes a precise mark up on the body to put you in line for where the radiation is to be directed. They tell you not to scrub the marks off as they will need them to line you up with the machine.  They made a casting mold of my legs to hold them in place and gave me a 4” round ring to hold so I would remember not to move.  When the Radiologist Oncologist came in I shared with him the CT scan report of which I knew he’d already reviewed and he responded, “You still have to do treatment”.  Ok, so you can’t blame me for trying.  I asked for happy faces or hearts as I expressed I didn’t want to look like I was in a cult so one of the technicians obliged me, took a sharpie and drew a heart with a happy face inside on my belly. 

Currently I am waiting for a call to meet with the treatment team.  The process seems slow, however, it is affording me time to change my resistant attitude into a more amenable one.

So what am I grateful for?  I’m grateful… that there is no apparent cancer in other organs, for family and friends who are concerned, for my Sister and Trish who both have gone with me to appointments and waited, to countless others who have shared their love, care, support, availability, and again for YoU because you took your time to read my words. Thank you!

What are you grateful for? What things are you walking through? What is your attitude this week does it need an adjustment?  I hope the Bible scriptures below are encouraging words for your journey.

Encouraging words:

Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will in Christ Jesus. 1Thessalonians 5:18

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit drains one’s strength. Proverbs 17:22

I have made you. I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.  Isaiah 46:4

Don’t panic. I AM with you. There is no need to fear I will give you strength. I will help you.     I, your GOD have a firm grip on you and I AM not letting go. Isiah 41:10, 13

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail, they are new every morning great is YOUR faithfulness.  Lamentations 3:22-23

I choose Joy!

Thank you so very much for your beautiful words they are a huge encouragement on this hard journey. We enjoyed makin some good memories seeing family on Easter so I’ve attached my Big joy of the week photo including our lil tree climbing grand boy who lives in Oregon. 

I've been pondering this week between the CT scan and Radiologist Oncologist appointment the fact that this is definitely not how I would choose to make new memories. I have learned over the years that when we have an opportunity to make a choice it is more palpable than when something is chosen for us.  So this week I’ve been struggling with swallowing and digesting the information that has been provided for a journey not of my choosing however, I've made a defined choice to choose Joy.

 

I have concerns regarding radiation side effects.   I experienced unusual side effects with my legs from the robotic surgery and was prescribed a couple of months of PT, my ability to drive was delayed, and I walked with a cane for a short while so I've learned my body doesn't always  work as expected.   Now the cute, young Radiologist Oncologist is super confident that things are going to be just fine.  I choose Joy.

Scheduled for this coming week on Wednesday is the 3D CT scan for the Radiologist to use to determine the precise prescription for the radiation. I understand external radiation is going to be 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week, for 5 weeks plus 3 treatments of internal radiation. I choose Joy.

What life difficulties are you walking through? What choices are you making even when you feel you did not chose to walk through the current unpleasant circumstances?  There are lots of feelings to explore and lots of feelings surface however, even in circumstances not of our choosing we have a choice to make. Do we allow these circumstances to affect us negatively or positively? As for me this week I've decided to choose Joy.

Encouraging words:

Nehemiah  8:10b  For the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Psalms 16:11  You will show me the path of life: in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

Psalms 5:11  But let all those that put their trust in You rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them: let them also that love Your Name be joyful in You.