With 11 radiation treatments done and 14 to go I decided focus is my word for the week. Today I met with the Radiologist Oncologist and discussed some of the signs and symptoms I am experiencing and he confirmed for the most part are typical radiation side effects. So it seems fitting that I need to stay focused and keep my eyes on the goal.
As a therapist I work with children and teens who lack focus so I am consistently motivating them to learn the powerful tool of self-control in order for them to learn to maintain focus. I find many people, including adults, don't realize they have the power to take charge of their thoughts so I offer coping strategies to aid them in taking charge and redirecting their thoughts. I now realize I need to implement some of these coping strategies to keep my eyes on the goal which is the bell in the photo. Most of us know someone who has gone through treatment for cancer and at the end of the treatment you ring the bell. So my goal in 14 days is to ring the bell. I am almost half way there! Every day the race seems to get a little harder all the more reason to maintain focus. What goal are you striving for?
When I write my blog it in itself is a journey depending on what is going on as I am working, going to radiation and life events are still happening. Life doesn't stand still. I enjoy living life and making new memories so within the past 4 weeks I've attended to 2 birthday parties, 1 graduation party, celebrated Mother's Day plus my daughter hosted a party in my home. Love it! You can see the Loves in the pics I got to spend time #makinwonderfulmemories with on Mother's Day. My church, Christ Church of Orlando, takes Mother's Day photos and you can see the pics we took with my Mother. It was hard to get all the family, living here, in one service.Our church was gracious to let us take 2 as the pics are and will become even more priceless treasures.
So what happens when you goal is moved? When I started writing this I thought I was focused, had my game plan, and my goal in sight however, after meeting with the doctor, the radiation team informed me that some changes were made and added 4 additional treatments. This news called for redirecting my focus. I must say it has been a struggle because the more treatments the more the side effects become more apparent. Fatigue is trying to become a constant companion however, I am reminded of my paraphrased scripture written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror - I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me great strength Philippians 4:13. I've pondered this scripture over the years and I've determined that Jesus has an ample supply of strength and it can be given in the direct proportion to what is needed. Some days I/you may need a dash of strength to make it through the day, the meeting, the test. Some moments/days we may need a whole freighter ship full of strength due to a shift in a goal, termination of employment, an alarming biopsy report, your child or your aging parent is ill, you can insert your goal shift here ________. It is in these moments I am thankful in Jesus still has an ample supply of strength and we can trust him to supply. How can we trust Him to supply? His Word says He will do so and He is truth. In James 14:6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the Truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
Thank you for continuing this journey with me. The goal in sight now is June 9th as the completion date. I still look forward to ringing the bell! This past week was my first experience witnessing someone ringing the bell. The Radiation Tech said to him, "Don't come back! I don't want to see you here. It is ok to see you at Walmart." Keep your eyes fixed on the goal...focus! I'll look for you at Walmart!
Encouraging Scriptural Words:
I press on toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:14
But my God shall supply all your need according to your riches in glory through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed (anxious), for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous (strong) right hand. Isaiah 41:10
After reading my blog on waiting, my dear friend, Christine texted me the Bible scripture found in Psalms 27:14 Wait on the Lord be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait I say on The Lord. It was timely as I was still waiting to hear when treatment would start. On Tuesday, last week, I knew my word for the week would be adventure. You see Christine and I worked together for the City of Orlando for a long time and have been on many adventures together. I love a good adventure so we'd make whatever outing we were doing during lunch time an adventure. It just might be going to a parking garage and riding the clear box elevator to the top floor or walking up and down the 8 flights of stairs in the old City Hall. We made life an adventure.
I started Radiation Therapy treatments on Wednesday last week...a new adventure! This adventure reminded me of Mr. Toads Wild Ride as things fell into place. My sister Phyllis and I arrived promptly and I was escorted back to the Radiation Room which as you can see from the pic is kind of daunting, however, the ladies were nice enough and gave appropriate direction. The actual radiation is maybe a little over 5 minutes it's the set up and the radiation scans that take more time so I'm there about 20 minutes. On Wednesday 3 Radiation Therapists busily worked all around me each one giving directions or offering information. They checked my markings and gave me permanent dots/tats on each hip and yes, I asked for hearts or happy faces but was informed it is not an option.
I must say on paper so far all this looks pretty matter of fact but in reality I've struggle with many aspects on this adventure. The radiation machine, Phyllis named Beamer, during the scanning phase makes a humming sound and during the radiation phase to me sounds like an alarm. Alarms are triggers for me as when I worked for a small hospital back in the day (ok you know you're arriving at an elevated aging process if you are legitimately use this term) I called code blues. Since I knew someone's life was on the line and it was my job you were instructed to drop whatever you're doing, get to the intercom, which resounded throughout hospital to call the code. I've had that code response feeling standing in the McDonald's line hearing their french fry alarm sound off indicating the fries are ready. So needless to say I was not expecting a mind body war during radiation. As I lay on the narrow flat bed, it's the one in the pic, I was instructed to lay perfectly still. As the huge machine circles my body making its sound my mind knew it was not a code but my body felt I needed to do something. As my friend Marsha would say..."the struggle is real" in this case was real.
So by now I've had to use all the Divine Intervention possible, as well as, all the coping strategies I share with people, plus some. After all a good therapist is congruent. We strive to practice what we preach. I am thankful to report that God is faithful and I am coping better. I've had wonderful support throughout this process. Amazing family and friends who show love, care, and concern. I might add if you're reading this I consider you in this group as each prayer, word of encouragement, and act of kindness is endearing to me as I feel very loved and blessed. It also reminds me how much God love me. The way I see it if you're praying for me... God placed that thought in you to pray... so He is thinking of me... when you pray...both you and God are thinking of me... together! A sweet WOG (Woman of God), I've known since we were teenagers, came to me at church on Sunday and said that she could see God's love on me and He told her to tell me that His love surrounds me. Her words were priceless. She also shared that she couldn't understand why God told her to tell me as she shared her conversation with God "I'm sure she already knows this." As she spoke the words I was reminded of the scripture song we used to sing "His banner over me is love." I thanked her for her obedience to God as they were words I needed to hear. Yes, God covers me even when radiation beams are targeting my body and He is big enough to and does cover the fear and anxious thoughts that have surfaced on this adventure.
So what is your adventure this week? What are your struggles? Does it involve fear or anxious thinking? One of my concerns on this adventure is there are people who walk through hard adventures without support. My prayer is whatever your struggle or fear is to know that you're not alone. When I pray for you I feel God has placed you in my thoughts to pray for you and when I pray God and I are both thinking of you. Somehow it's comforting to me that God partners with us to connect with others. I love that about God that he chooses to have relationship with us, surrounds us with His love, and connects us together. A little heaven on earth even....in hard adventures.
Encouraging Scriptural Words
Be anxious for Nothing, but in everything by prayer ans supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the PEACE of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts, and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4: 6-7
Casting ALL your care (anxieties) on Him, for he cares for you. I Peter 5:7 NKJV
Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the lord delivereth him (her) out of them ALL. Psalm 34:19
I can do ALL things through Christ who give me (great) strength. Philippians 4:13
Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper in ALL things and be in health, even as your soul prospers. III John 1:2
As a therapist I work with children and teens who lack focus so I am consistently motivating them to learn the powerful tool of self-control in order for them to learn to maintain focus. I find many people, including adults, don't realize they have the power to take charge of their thoughts so I offer coping strategies to aid them in taking charge and redirecting their thoughts. I now realize I need to implement some of these coping strategies to keep my eyes on the goal which is the bell in the photo. Most of us know someone who has gone through treatment for cancer and at the end of the treatment you ring the bell. So my goal in 14 days is to ring the bell. I am almost half way there! Every day the race seems to get a little harder all the more reason to maintain focus. What goal are you striving for? 
When I write my blog it in itself is a journey depending on what is going on as I am working, going to radiation and life events are still happening. Life doesn't stand still. I enjoy living life and making new memories so within the past 4 weeks I've attended to 2 birthday parties, 1 graduation party, celebrated Mother's Day plus my daughter hosted a party in my home. Love it! You can see the Loves in the pics I got to spend time #makinwonderfulmemories with on Mother's Day. My church, Christ Church of Orlando, takes Mother's Day photos and you can see the pics we took with my Mother. It was hard to get all the family, living here, in one service.Our church was gracious to let us take 2 as the pics are and will become even more priceless treasures. 
